The one question that picks the form
Japanese honorific speech is not a politeness dial with three settings. It is a pair of opposite moves applied to a subject. Sonkeigo describes the other person's actions with raised verbs. Kenjōgo describes your own actions, or your side's, with lowered ones. Teineigo runs on a separate axis: it is politeness towards the listener, and it sits on top of both. That is why irasshaimasu and mairimasu both end in masu. The masu is teineigo; the stem carries the direction.
So before choosing a verb, ask who performs the action. If the subject is a customer, a client, your manager or anyone you are honouring, raise it. If the subject is you, your team, your company or your family speaking to an outsider, lower it. If the action belongs to nobody in particular, a train arriving or a shop opening, leave it neutral and stay politely in masu. Learners who ask this question every single time make almost no honorific errors that matter.
- Their action: sonkeigo. Irasshaimasu, osshaimasu, goran ni narimasu.
- My action, or my side's: kenjōgo. Mairimasu, mōshimasu, haiken shimasu.
- Nobody's action in particular: plain polite. Densha ga kimasu, mise ga akimasu.
- Politeness to the listener sits over all three as desu, masu and gozaimasu.
Where teineigo and the decorative forms fit
Teineigo is the layer you already own. Desu, masu and the more formal gozaimasu make a sentence polite towards the person in front of you without saying anything about the subject. Alongside it sits bikago, the decorative o and go on ordinary nouns such as ocha and gohan, which softens speech without honouring anybody. Neither of these does the job of sonkeigo or kenjōgo, which is why a sentence can be perfectly polite and still point the arrow the wrong way.
There is also a quieter category worth recognising: teichōgo, humble-sounding verbs used simply to be formal towards the listener rather than to lower yourself in front of a target. Station announcements use it when a train mairimasu, and shop staff use orimasu about objects. You do not need to produce it deliberately, but knowing it exists explains why humble verbs sometimes appear where nobody is being honoured. The separate guides to san and sama and to polite versus casual speech cover the naming and register side of the same picture.
| Japanese | Romaji | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 電車が参ります。 | Densha ga mairimasu. | The train is arriving. (formal towards the listener, not humble about a person) |
| こちらでございます。 | Kochira de gozaimasu. | It is right here. (formal desu) |
| お茶をどうぞ。 | Ocha o dōzo. | Please have some tea. (decorative o) |
| ただいま参ります。 | Tadaima mairimasu. | I am on my way right now. |
The verb pairs that carry most of the load
A small group of everyday verbs replace themselves entirely rather than taking a pattern, and these irregulars make up the bulk of what you actually hear. Learn them as three-way sets, saying all three aloud together, because the plain form is the hook that lets you retrieve the other two under pressure.
| Plain verb | Sonkeigo (their action) | Kenjōgo (my action) |
|---|---|---|
| 行く iku (go) | いらっしゃる irassharu | 参る mairu / 伺う ukagau |
| 来る kuru (come) | いらっしゃる irassharu / お越しになる okoshi ni naru | 参る mairu |
| いる iru (be somewhere) | いらっしゃる irassharu | おる oru |
| 言う iu (say) | おっしゃる ossharu | 申す mōsu / 申し上げる mōshiageru |
| する suru (do) | なさる nasaru | いたす itasu |
| 食べる・飲む taberu, nomu (eat, drink) | 召し上がる meshiagaru | いただく itadaku |
| 見る miru (see) | ご覧になる goran ni naru | 拝見する haiken suru |
| 聞く kiku (hear, ask) | お聞きになる okiki ni naru | 伺う ukagau / 拝聴する haichō suru |
| 知る shiru (know) | ご存じだ gozonji da | 存じる zonjiru / 存じ上げる zonjiageru |
| もらう morau (receive) | お受け取りになる ouketori ni naru | いただく itadaku / 頂戴する chōdai suru |
| あげる ageru (give) | くださる kudasaru (they give to you) | 差し上げる sashiageru |
| 会う au (meet) | お会いになる oai ni naru | お目にかかる ome ni kakaru |
Two rows need a note. Ageru has no honorific version of its own because you cannot honour somebody for the gift you yourself hand over, so the raised counterpart is kudasaru, used when they give to you; sashiageru is what you do towards them, and it can sound heavy, so a plain onegai shimasu is often better. Shiru is irregular in the negative: the humble denial is zonjimasen, and gozonji ja arimasen about a superior sounds like an accusation, so ask with gozonji deshō ka instead.
Note also that irassharu, ossharu, nasaru and kudasaru are the five-verb group that drops to imasu-style endings: irasshaimasu rather than irassharimasu, kudasai rather than kudasare. This single irregularity accounts for a large share of learner slips, so practise the masu forms directly rather than deriving them.
Sonkeigo in real sentences
Sonkeigo appears most often in questions, because you spend more time asking about the other person's actions than reporting them. Notice that the honorific verb does not change the particles or the word order; only the predicate moves. If you can say the neutral sentence, you can say the raised one by swapping the last word.
| Japanese | Romaji | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 部長はもういらっしゃいますか。 | Buchō wa mō irasshaimasu ka. | Is the manager in yet? |
| 社長は三時にいらっしゃいます。 | Shachō wa san-ji ni irasshaimasu. | The president will be here at three. |
| 何とおっしゃいましたか。 | Nan to osshaimashita ka. | What did you say? |
| 資料はもうご覧になりましたか。 | Shiryō wa mō goran ni narimashita ka. | Have you looked at the documents yet? |
| どうぞ召し上がってください。 | Dōzo meshiagatte kudasai. | Please help yourself. (to food) |
| この件はご存じでしょうか。 | Kono ken wa gozonji deshō ka. | Are you aware of this matter? |
| いかがなさいますか。 | Ikaga nasaimasu ka. | What would you like to do? |
Kenjougo in real sentences
Kenjōgo covers your own side, so it dominates self-introductions, visits, reports and offers of help. The key habit is switching to it automatically the moment the subject is watashi or your company, even mid-sentence. A conversation where you raise them correctly but describe your own actions in plain masu sounds unfinished rather than wrong, and it is the most common half-learned pattern.
| Japanese | Romaji | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 田中と申します。 | Tanaka to mōshimasu. | My name is Tanaka. |
| 明日、御社に伺います。 | Ashita, onsha ni ukagaimasu. | I will visit your company tomorrow. |
| 資料を拝見しました。 | Shiryō o haiken shimashita. | I have looked at the documents. |
| 私がご案内いたします。 | Watashi ga goannai itashimasu. | I will show you the way. |
| お目にかかれて光栄です。 | Ome ni kakarete kōei desu. | It is an honour to meet you. |
| お名前は存じ上げております。 | Onamae wa zonjiagete orimasu. | I know of you by name. |
| ありがたくいただきます。 | Arigataku itadakimasu. | I accept it gratefully. |
The regular patterns for every other verb
Verbs without a special form use two mirrored frames built on the masu-stem. Sonkeigo is o plus stem plus ni naru; kenjōgo is o plus stem plus suru, upgraded to itasu when you want more weight. Verbs made of a Chinese-origin noun plus suru swap the o for go: gosetsumei ni naru, gosetsumei itashimasu. The pattern is refused by a handful of one-syllable stems such as mi and i, which is exactly why those verbs have special forms instead.
The honorific passive gives you a third, lighter option. Kaeraremashita and koraremasu are genuine sonkeigo, sound less formal than the full frame, and are what many managers use with each other. They are not usable for customer-facing service language, where okaeri ni narimashita reads better, and they can be ambiguous with the ordinary passive, so keep the context clear.
| Japanese | Romaji | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 先生がお書きになった本です。 | Sensei ga okaki ni natta hon desu. | It is a book the teacher wrote. |
| こちらをお読みになりますか。 | Kochira o oyomi ni narimasu ka. | Would you like to read this one? |
| 部長はもう帰られました。 | Buchō wa mō kaeraremashita. | The manager has already gone home. |
| お荷物をお持ちします。 | Onimotsu o omochi shimasu. | Let me carry your bags. |
| 後ほどご連絡いたします。 | Nochihodo gorenraku itashimasu. | I will contact you later. |
| 少々お待ちください。 | Shōshō omachi kudasai. | Please wait a moment. |
| ご利用になれます。 | Goriyō ni naremasu. | You are able to use it. |
O and go on nouns and adjectives
Honorific prefixes work on nouns too, and they follow the same direction rule. Onamae is their name, and yours is simply namae; ojikan is their time, goiken their opinion. Native Japanese words generally take o and Chinese-origin compounds generally take go, with well-worn exceptions such as odenwa, ohenji and oshokuji. Attaching o or go to something of your own is the quickest way to sound as though you have honoured yourself by accident.
| Japanese | Romaji | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| お名前を伺ってもよろしいでしょうか。 | Onamae o ukagatte mo yoroshii deshō ka. | May I ask your name? |
| ご意見をお聞かせください。 | Goiken o okikase kudasai. | Please let us hear your opinion. |
| ご都合はいかがでしょうか。 | Gotsugō wa ikaga deshō ka. | Would that suit you? |
| お忙しいところ恐れ入ります。 | Oisogashii tokoro osoreirimasu. | I am sorry to trouble you when you are busy. |
| 私の名前は山田です。 | Watashi no namae wa Yamada desu. | My name is Yamada. (no prefix on your own name) |
In-group and out-group: lowering your own boss
Japanese honorifics attach to a boundary rather than to a person. Inside the company your manager sits above you and takes sonkeigo, title included. The moment an outsider is listening, the boundary moves outward: your whole company, manager and president included, becomes the inside group, and the client becomes the only person to raise. The same manager you address as buchō in the corridor is plain Tanaka on a call to a customer, with humble verbs attached to his actions.
The rule extends to your family in front of strangers, to your school or club, and in some companies to your own department when speaking to another. Learners resist it because dropping the title feels like an insult. It is the opposite: removing the honours from your own side is precisely how you show that the client outranks all of you. Adding san to your manager's name on that call is the slip a Japanese listener notices before the sentence has finished.
| Japanese | Romaji | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 田中はただいま席を外しております。 | Tanaka wa tadaima seki o hazushite orimasu. | Tanaka is away from his desk. (to a client, about your own manager) |
| 部長はただいま席を外していらっしゃいます。 | Buchō wa tadaima seki o hazushite irasshaimasu. | The manager is away from his desk. (inside the company) |
| 弊社の山田が明日伺います。 | Heisha no Yamada ga ashita ukagaimasu. | Our Yamada will visit you tomorrow. |
| 御社の佐藤様はいらっしゃいますか。 | Onsha no Satō-sama wa irasshaimasu ka. | Is Mr Sato of your company available? |
| 父は外出しております。 | Chichi wa gaishutsu shite orimasu. | My father is out. (to someone outside the family) |
Double keigo and the overcorrections that mark a learner
Once the forms are available, the failure mode changes from too little politeness to too much. Double keigo means stacking two honorific devices on the same verb, and it is judged incorrect even though native speakers slip into it as well. The cure is to trust the special verbs: they are already fully honorific or fully humble, and adding a second layer signals uncertainty rather than respect.
| What learners say | Why it grates | Say this instead |
|---|---|---|
| おっしゃられました osshararemashita | Ossharu plus the honorific passive | おっしゃいました osshaimashita |
| お召し上がりになる omeshiagari ni naru | Meshiagaru is already honorific | 召し上がる meshiagaru |
| ご覧になられますか goran ni nararemasu ka | Goran ni naru plus the passive | ご覧になりますか goran ni narimasu ka |
| 拝見させていただきます haiken sasete itadakimasu | Haiken suru is already humble | 拝見します haiken shimasu |
| お伺いさせていただきます oukagai sasete itadakimasu | Three humble layers on one verb | 伺います ukagaimasu |
| 部長様 buchō-sama | A job title already carries the respect | 部長 buchō |
| 了解いたしました ryōkai itashimashita | Ryōkai reads downward however it is dressed | 承知いたしました shōchi itashimashita |
- Sonkeigo about yourself: watashi ga irasshaimasu instead of mairimasu or ukagaimasu.
- Kenjōgo about the client: onsha no shachō ga mōshite imashita lowers their words; use osshatte imashita.
- Hanging sasete itadakimasu on every verb until nothing sounds decided.
- An honorific predicate with a casual tail, such as goran ni naru yo or osshatta jan.
- Honorific prefixes on your own things: watashi no ogaisha, or oyasumi about the leave you are demanding rather than receiving.
A two-week routine that makes the forms come out
- Days one to three: the twelve verb sets, each said inside a full sentence rather than as a bare list.
- Days four to six: take ten neutral sentences and convert each twice, once raising the subject and once lowering it.
- Days seven to nine: drill o plus stem plus ni naru and o plus stem plus suru on ordinary verbs: matsu, motsu, okuru, tsutaeru, shiraseru.
- Days ten to twelve: phone roleplay across the boundary, giving the same message internally and then to a client.
- Days thirteen and fourteen: replay your own recordings and mark direction errors only, ignoring pronunciation for now.
Fix direction before polish. A learner who says ikimasu where irasshaimasu was expected sounds slightly plain, and plain is forgiven quickly. A learner who says irasshaimasu about their own arrival has honoured themselves, and that is the sentence people remember afterwards. Get the arrow pointing the right way in every sentence, then make the forms smoother and faster.