Japanese at a Tea Ceremony: What the Host Says and How You Reply

Chakai, chaji or tourist experience

Sadō or chadō, the way of tea, has several kinds of gathering, and which one you attend changes how much is expected of you. A chakai is a tea gathering, often an hour or less, with a sweet and a bowl of usucha, thin tea, and it is the format most visitors join through a tea house, a temple or a cultural centre. A chaji is the full formal version with a meal, lasting several hours, and is almost always by invitation. A taiken, an experience, is the tourist format: a short explanation, a demonstration, a sweet, a bowl of tea and often a chance to whisk one yourself.

Reservation rules, fees and dress codes all vary by venue, so check the website or ask when you book. Common requests are to remove watches and rings, which can scratch the bowls, to avoid strong perfume, and to bring white socks for the tatami. If sitting in seiza is hard for you, say so at the start; most venues allow you to sit with your legs to one side or provide a low stool.

The utensils the host will name

During a demonstration the host names each utensil as it is used, and at a tourist experience the guide will usually hold each one up. Knowing the names lets you follow along and ask about a piece afterwards. Most of these words take the polite o- prefix in the tea room: o-chawan, o-natsume, o-chashaku.

You will be handed kaishi paper and sometimes a small pick, a yōji, for the sweet. If you have neither, ask kaishi o itadakemasu ka, and the venue will provide them.

Entering the room and greeting the host

Guests enter the tea room in order, and at a chakai the first guest, the shōkyaku, sits nearest the alcove and speaks for the group. As a beginner, ask to sit further down the line, where you can copy the person ahead of you. Before sitting, guests usually pause at the tokonoma to look at the scroll and flowers, then bow to them; this is called haiken, respectful viewing.

When the host enters and bows, the guests bow together. The host's opening line is a formal welcome, and the first guest replies for everyone with thanks for the invitation. If the host speaks to you directly, the phrases below are enough; keep them quiet and unhurried.

The sweets come first

The wagashi arrives before the tea, on a tray or in a lidded box passed along the guests, and it is eaten completely before the tea is served. The host or an assistant says o-kashi o dōzo, please have a sweet. Before taking yours, bow slightly to the guest beside you and say o-saki ni, excuse me for going ahead, then bow to the host with o-kashi o chōdai itashimasu, I humbly receive the sweet. Take the sweet onto your kaishi, pass the tray on, and eat it in a few bites.

Sweets at a chakai match the season and often have a poetic name, a mei, which the host is pleased to be asked about. A moist sweet such as a nerikiri is cut with the pick; a dry higashi is eaten with the fingers. Fold the used kaishi and tuck it away before the tea arrives.

Receiving and drinking the tea

The host or assistant places the bowl in front of you with its front, the shōmen, facing you. First bow to the next guest with o-saki ni, then to the host with o-temae chōdai itashimasu, I humbly receive your preparation. Pick up the bowl with your right hand, rest it on your left palm, and raise it slightly in thanks. Then turn it clockwise, usually in two small turns, so that you do not drink from the front; the exact angle varies by school.

Drink in about three sips. On the last sip, a soft drawing-in of breath, the suikiri, tells the host you have finished, and it is not considered rude. Wipe the place you drank from with your thumb and forefinger, clean your fingers on the kaishi, turn the bowl back so the front faces you again, and set it down. Then admire the bowl, the haiken, keeping it low over the tatami so it cannot fall far.

At some point the host will ask how the tea was, o-fukukagen wa ikaga desu ka, and the reply is fixed: taihen kekkō de gozaimasu. When the bowl is collected, or at the end, kekkō na o-temae deshita thanks the host for the preparation.

Questions you can ask

Conversation at a chakai is quiet, but a guest who asks the traditional questions gives the host a chance to talk about choices that took days of thought. At a tourist experience anyone may ask. The classic questions concern the tea name, o-chamei, the tea shop that supplied it, o-tsume, the sweet, the bowl, the scroll in the alcove and the flowers. Keep the register high, with deshō ka rather than desu ka, and thank the host for the answer.

• O-chamei wa nan deshō ka: what is the name of the tea?
• O-tsume wa dochira deshō ka: which shop supplied the tea?
• Kono o-chawan wa dochira no yakimono deshō ka: where was this bowl made?
• O-kakejiku ni wa nan to kaite aru no deshō ka: what does the scroll say?
• O-hana wa nan to iu hana deshō ka: what is that flower called?
• Koicha to usucha wa dō chigaimasu ka: how do thick and thin tea differ?
• Shashin o totte mo yoroshii deshō ka: may I take a photograph?

Photography rules vary a great deal: some tourist venues encourage it, many tea houses forbid it during the ceremony itself. Ask before the gathering begins rather than during it.

Whisking your own bowl at a tourist experience

Many experiences end with each guest making a bowl of usucha. The guide will talk you through it: scoop matcha into the bowl with the chashaku, ladle in a little hot water, and whisk quickly from the wrist until a fine foam forms. The instructions use the same te-form verbs you hear in any lesson: irete, put in; futte, whisk; tomete, stop.

Mistakes and how to recover

Hosts are forgiving of foreign guests, and the mistakes that matter are few. Drinking from the front of the bowl, eating the sweet with the tea, and setting the bowl down on the wrong side are corrected with a quiet word and nothing more. Talking loudly, using a phone or wearing perfume are noticed more, because they affect everyone. If your legs go numb, shift quietly; a stool can usually be found.

When you do slip, a short apology in the polite register is enough: shitsurei itashimashita, I have been rude, or sumimasen, machigaemashita, sorry, I got that wrong. If you spill tea on the tatami, say so at once. At the end, thank the host with kyō wa arigatō gozaimashita and, if it is true, ii benkyō ni narimashita, I learned a great deal.