Dō itashimashite and why you rarely hear it
Dō itashimashite is the textbook answer to arigatō, and it is correct. The trouble is not the meaning but the habit around it. English speakers accept thanks as a matter of course; Japanese speakers more often push it away, and dō itashimashite does not push anything away.
In daily conversation it can therefore sound slightly formal, slightly like a language lesson, or, in the wrong moment, as if you agree you did something generous. Children are taught it, and you will hear it in polite exchanges, but between colleagues and friends the deflecting replies below are far more common.
| Japanese | Romaji | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| どういたしまして。 | Dō itashimashite. | You're welcome: correct, a little textbook in casual talk |
| ありがとうございます。 | Arigatō gozaimasu. | Thank you: what you are replying to |
| いえいえ、どういたしまして。 | Ie ie, dō itashimashite. | Oh, not at all, you're welcome: softer with ie ie in front |
Deflecting: the everyday reply
The most common response to thanks is a small refusal of it. Ie ie, literally no no, is the workhorse: quick, warm and polite enough for almost anyone you are not formally serving.
Among friends, zenzen, meaning not at all, does the same job, and a short daijōbu desu yo works when someone thanks you for waiting or for putting up with something.
| Japanese | Romaji | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| いえいえ。 | Ie ie. | Oh, not at all |
| いえいえ、全然です。 | Ie ie, zenzen desu. | No, really, it was nothing |
| 全然！ | Zenzen! | Not at all! (casual) |
| ううん、全然。 | Ūn, zenzen. | Nah, not at all (casual) |
| いえいえ、大丈夫ですよ。 | Ie ie, daijōbu desu yo. | Not at all, it's fine: after thanks for waiting |
Tondemonai and the humble register
When the person thanking you is a client, a superior or someone you want to show respect to, tondemonai desu is the standard deflection. It means something like that is out of the question, as in there is nothing to thank me for.
At work it is often followed by a second line that turns attention back to the other person: you are glad to have been useful, or you would be happy to help again. That second line is what makes the reply sound warm rather than merely correct.
| Japanese | Romaji | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| とんでもないです。 | Tondemonai desu. | Not at all: polite |
| とんでもございません。 | Tondemo gozaimasen. | Not at all: very polite, common in business and service |
| お役に立ててよかったです。 | O-yaku ni tatete yokatta desu. | I'm glad I could be of help |
| 少しでもお役に立てたなら嬉しいです。 | Sukoshi demo o-yaku ni tateta nara ureshii desu. | I'm happy if I was of any help at all |
| また何かあれば、いつでもおっしゃってください。 | Mata nanika areba, itsu demo osshatte kudasai. | If there is anything else, please let me know anytime |
Kochira koso: when thanks go both ways
Kochira koso means this side, emphatically. It is the reply when the other person thanks you for something you also benefited from: a meeting, a meal together, a good working relationship.
It is also the standard answer to yoroshiku onegaishimasu, which is why learners meet it early. Used after thanks, it quietly says that you are the one who should be grateful.
| Japanese | Romaji | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| こちらこそ。 | Kochira koso. | Likewise, the thanks is mine |
| こちらこそ、ありがとうございました。 | Kochira koso, arigatō gozaimashita. | Thank you too, really |
| こちらこそ、楽しかったです。 | Kochira koso, tanoshikatta desu. | I had a great time too |
| こちらこそ、よろしくお願いします。 | Kochira koso, yoroshiku onegaishimasu. | Likewise, I look forward to working with you |
At work and in service
The right reply depends less on how big the favour was than on who is thanking whom. The table sorts the common workplace moments.
| Situation | Natural reply | Why |
|---|---|---|
| A colleague thanks you for covering a task | A quick deflection, then say you are glad it helped | Accepting the thanks outright can sound self-important |
| A client thanks you after a meeting | The humble not-at-all form, then thanks in return | Keeps the focus on the client |
| A customer thanks you at the counter | Thank the customer back | In service the customer is the one being thanked |
| Your manager thanks you | The polite not-at-all form, perhaps with a line about learning | Deflecting upwards is expected |
| A partner company thanks you for cooperation | The both-ways reply | The benefit is mutual |
Notice that none of the rows calls for a plain you're welcome. That is the pattern to absorb.
Casual replies among friends
With friends the replies get shorter and warmer, and they often add an invitation to ask again. Ki ni shinaide, don't mention it, is especially natural when the friend sounds apologetic as well as grateful.
| Japanese | Romaji | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| いいよいいよ。 | Ii yo ii yo. | No worries, no worries |
| 気にしないで。 | Ki ni shinaide. | Don't mention it |
| お安い御用です。 | O-yasui go-yō desu. | It's no trouble at all: warm, a little old-fashioned |
| またいつでも言ってね。 | Mata itsu demo itte ne. | Just ask anytime |
| こっちこそ、ありがとう。 | Kotchi koso, arigatō. | Thank you too: casual kochira koso |
Making the deflection automatic
The hard part is not memorising these lines but breaking the English reflex to accept thanks. Under pressure, learners fall back on dō itashimashite because it maps neatly onto you're welcome.
Short, repeated exchanges fix this faster than lists. Ask your AI Sensei in Unihongo's 3D classroom to play a colleague, a friend and a client who each thank you, and the corrections in the session report can show when your reply came out stiffer than the moment needed.
- Friend: ie ie or zenzen.
- Colleague: ie ie, then glad it helped.
- Client or superior: tondemonai desu, then a second line.
- Mutual favour: kochira koso.
- Customer: thank them back.