Japanese Bathing Customs at Home: Ofuro Rules, Bath Order and Phrases

The three rooms of a Japanese bathroom

The word o-furo means the bath, both the tub and the act of bathing, and o-furo ni hairu, to enter the bath, is what people say for taking one. The bathroom proper, the yokushitsu, is a waterproof room with a drain in the floor, a tub along one wall and a washing area in front of it with a low stool, a basin and a hand shower on a hose. Outside its door is the datsuijo, a changing space with a sink, a washing machine and a rack for towels. The toilet, the toire, is a separate room altogether, usually with a door that closes and its own pair of slippers.

Once you see the layout, the routine follows. Water can go anywhere in the yokushitsu because the whole room drains, so you wash outside the tub. The tub is deep and short, made for sitting with the water up to your shoulders, and has a lid that keeps the water hot between bathers.

Washing before you soak

Undress in the datsuijo, put your clothes in the basket or on the shelf, and take only a small towel into the yokushitsu. Sit on the stool, fill the basin from the tub or the tap, and pour water over yourself, kakeyu, to warm up and rinse away the day. Then wash with soap, wash your hair if you wish, and rinse until there is no foam anywhere, including your feet. Only then do you lift the lid and get into the tub.

The soak itself is short, five to ten minutes for most people, because the water is hot, often forty degrees or more. Sit still, keep your small towel out of the water, on your head or folded on the rim, and get out when you feel warm through. The order of washing steps is personal, but everything that involves soap happens outside the tub.

Before you leave, put the lid back on, rinse the stool, basin and floor, and wipe yourself down with the wrung-out small towel before you step onto the mat, so the changing space stays dry.

Bath order and shared water

The bath water is heated once, in the early evening, and the family goes in one at a time. The traditional order put the father or the eldest first, then the children, and the mother last. Modern families are looser about it, but the water is still shared. As a guest, you may well be offered the first bath, ichiban-buro, because that is the cleanest water and the honour goes to the visitor.

Because the water is shared, two rules are absolute: no soap in the tub, and no pulling the plug. The person who bathes last usually decides whether to drain the tub or leave the water for laundry the next morning, so leave that decision to your host. Many washing machines have a pump hose that draws the leftover bath water, nokoriyu, straight into the drum.

When you are invited to go first, say o-saki ni itadakimasu before you go in. When you come out, say o-furo itadakimashita, thank you for the bath, or o-saki ni shitsurei shimashita, sorry for going first. If someone is waiting, o-furo akimashita lets them know the room is free.

Bath vocabulary

These are the words you will hear around the bath at a homestay, from the moment the water heater announces that the tub is ready to the towel your host lays out for you.

Modern bath units talk: a button fills the tub and a recorded voice announces o-furo ga wakimashita, the bath is ready. Oidaki is the reheating function, so if the water has gone cool your host may say oidaki shite ne.

Slippers, the toilet room and the yukata

Slippers follow a simple rule: one pair for the house, one pair for the toilet, and bare feet or socks on tatami. At the toilet door you step out of your house slippers into the toilet slippers waiting inside, and reverse the process on the way out. Walking back to the dinner table in toilet slippers is the classic guest error. The bathroom itself is barefoot; leave your slippers in the datsuijo.

Many homes have a washlet toilet with a control panel. The two buttons you need are oshiri, the rear wash, and tomeru or teishi, stop. The flush may be a lever with dai for large and shō for small, or a wall button. A small tap running over the cistern after you flush is for rinsing your hands.

After the bath, a host may offer you a yukata or a set of pyjamas. A yukata worn at home is simply a light cotton robe: wrap the left side over the right, tie the sash at the hip, and you are done. Right over left is how a body is dressed for a funeral, so hosts will gently correct it. Towel-dry your hair before you sit down again on the tatami.

Regional and generational variation

Bath habits vary more than guests expect. Older people often bathe every night and regard a shower alone as not really washing, while younger people in small flats with a unit bath, a moulded bathroom with tub and shower in one shell, may shower most days and fill the tub only in winter. A grandparent may keep the water hotter than you find comfortable.

In colder regions a cold datsuijo after a hot soak is a known health risk for the elderly, so heated changing rooms are becoming common. In some rural areas the head of the household still bathes first; in most cities the order is whoever is ready. Bath additives, nyūyokuzai, are popular in every generation, and yuzu fruit is floated in the bath on the winter solstice, so a packet of bath salts from your own country makes a good small gift for a host family.

A first-night checklist

• Ask when the bath is usually taken and whether the family has an order
• Wash and rinse completely on the stool before lifting the lid
• Keep your towel and any soap out of the tub, and put the lid back on
• Never pull the plug; the last person or your host decides
• Rinse the stool, basin and floor, and change slippers at the toilet door
• Say o-furo itadakimashita when you come out

If you are unsure, ask before rather than after. Hosts prefer a question such as o-yu wa nokoshite oku n desu ka, do I leave the water in, to a mistake they discover in the morning.

Mistakes foreigners make

The serious errors all involve the shared water. Getting into the tub without washing, washing inside the tub, letting a soapy towel float, and pulling the plug afterwards all spoil the bath for the family. Apologise plainly if it happens: sumimasen, shirimasen deshita, sorry, I didn't know, and ask what to do next. Most hosts will be more amused than annoyed.

The milder errors are about time and space. A forty-minute bath while four people wait, a soaked changing space, toilet slippers at the dinner table and the big towel in the bathroom all make you a slightly tiring guest. Wearing the yukata right over left is harmless but will be corrected. Finally, do not skip the bath every night out of shyness: hosts read a guest who refuses o-furo as unwell or unhappy, and a shower in the same room is an acceptable alternative if you say so.