Ano Sa, Nee Nee, Chotto Kiite: Getting a Friend's Attention in Japanese

The four openers friends use most

Most casual conversations in Japanese start with a little signal that says I have something to tell you. The four lines below are the ones you will hear most among friends. They are all casual: perfect with classmates, friends, siblings and partners, and too familiar for strangers, staff or your manager.

Nē and nē nē: the eager hey

Nē (ねえ) on its own is the simplest way to call someone you know: hey. Doubled as nē nē, it becomes eager, almost tugging at a sleeve. Children use it constantly with their parents, and adults use it with friends and partners when they are excited or want something. The pitch usually rises and stays bright.

A long, falling nēē with a heavy voice is different: it can sound like a protest, as in come on! or seriously? The words are the same; the melody tells your friend whether you have good news or a grievance.

Ano sa and ano ne: so, listen

Ano sa (あのさ) is built from the hesitation word ano and the casual particle sa. It means so, listen and is a little calmer than nē nē. People often use it before something that needs a bit of courage: a request, a confession, a plan they are not sure about. Ano ne (あのね) does the same job more softly and is typical when talking to children, and in gentle speech in general.

Be careful with a stretched, flat anō saā with a sigh. That melody announces irritation, roughly look, I have to say this. If you want to sound friendly, keep it short and light.

The last line shows the irritated melody in action: the same opener, followed by a complaint. Learners sometimes use a drawn-out ano sā innocently and sound much crosser than they mean.

Chotto kiite and kiite yo: announcing news

When the news is too big to wait, friends say chotto kiite! (ちょっと聞いて！), listen to this!, or kiite kiite! Both promise a good story. Kiite yo (聞いてよ) adds a pleading edge and very often introduces a complaint: listen, you won't believe what happened to me.

Notice what chotto does here. It is the same chotto that means a little, softening the request into just listen for a moment. On its own, a sharp chotto! means hey! stop that!, so do not use it alone to call a friend over.

The little sa, sō sō, and changing the subject

Once a story is under way, friends often drop a sa (さ) after a phrase, the way some English speakers say like or you know. It keeps the listener with you and gives you a breath. Ne (ね) in the same position sounds softer. A few per story sound relaxed; one after every word sounds rough or childish.

Sō sō (そうそう) means yes, yes or exactly, and it is also how you pick a story back up after an interruption: sō sō, sore de sa, right, so anyway. A sudden a, sō da! means oh, that reminds me. To move to a new topic, say hanashi kawaru kedo or sō ieba.

Scenario: bursting in with news

You ran into your old high school teacher at the station, and she remembered your name. You find your friend Kenta in the break room and you cannot wait. Here is the whole exchange, with the openers doing their job.

The no at the end of atta no and oboeteta no is the casual explanatory ending, common in storytelling. Male speakers might say atta n da instead.

Openers in chat messages

The same openers move straight into messaging apps. A message that says only nē nē or chotto ii? is a common way to check that a friend is available before you launch into a long story or a request. It is the written version of tapping someone on the shoulder.

There is one difference from speech. Written down, ano sa with nothing after it can feel ominous, as if bad news or a serious talk is coming, especially between partners. If the topic is light, add the topic straight away or a friendly emoji, so your friend does not spend the next minute worrying.

With strangers and at work: the polite versions

None of the friend openers work with people you do not know or people above you. A shop clerk greeted with nē nē would be startled, and a manager hearing ano sa would hear a lack of respect. The polite equivalents are easy, and they are what you would practise in a roleplay such as Ask the Way to the Station.

• Do not say sumimasen to call a close friend: it sounds oddly distant.
• Do not use chotto! alone as hey: it sounds like a scolding.
• Do not overuse sa at work: even in relaxed offices it sounds sloppy.