Parents and children: 父 母 子 親
The first four kanji give you the core of any family description. 父 and 母 are the parents, 子 is the child, and 親 is the general word for parent that also carries the idea of closeness. The important thing to fix early is the reading split. When you talk about your own parents to an outsider, use chichi and haha. When you talk about someone else's parents, or address your own directly, use otōsan and okāsan. The kanji does not change; only the reading and the politeness do.
子 is the most flexible of the four. It is ko in kodomo, child, and in names ending in -ko such as Yōko and Keiko. It is shi in the on reading, which appears in 子供 written with a second character, and in words like 男子 and 女子, boys and girls, on toilet doors and school notices. 親 is oya on its own and shin in compounds: 両親 ryōshin is both parents, 親切 shinsetsu is kindness.
| Japanese | Romaji | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 父は銀行で働いています。 | Chichi wa ginkō de hataraite imasu. | My father works at a bank. |
| お父さんはお元気ですか。 | Otōsan wa o-genki desu ka. | Is your father well? |
| 母は料理が上手です。 | Haha wa ryōri ga jōzu desu. | My mother is a good cook. |
| 両親は大阪に住んでいます。 | Ryōshin wa Ōsaka ni sunde imasu. | My parents live in Osaka. |
| 子供が二人います。 | Kodomo ga futari imasu. | I have two children. |
| Kanji | Reading | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 父 | fu, chichi | father; chichi (own), otōsan (others), sofu (grandfather) |
| 母 | bo, haha | mother; haha (own), okāsan (others), sobo (grandmother) |
| 子 | shi, ko | child; kodomo, danshi (boy), joshi (girl) |
| 親 | shin, oya | parent, close; ryōshin (parents), shinsetsu (kind) |
| 男 | dan, otoko | man; otoko no ko (boy), dansei (male) |
| 女 | jo, onna | woman; onna no ko (girl), josei (female) |
| 夫 | fu, otto | husband; otto (own), goshujin (others), fūfu (couple) |
| 妻 | sai, tsuma | wife; tsuma (own), okusan (others), fusai (Mr and Mrs) |
Men, women, husbands and wives: 男 女 夫 妻
男 and 女 are the two characters you meet on every toilet door, changing room and application form. 男 shows a field over strength, the picture of a farmer, and 女 is a kneeling figure. On their own they are otoko and onna, which are blunt in conversation; the polite words are dansei and josei, male and female, and for children otoko no ko and onna no ko.
For spouses the humble and polite split returns. Your own husband is otto and your own wife is tsuma. Someone else's husband is goshujin and someone else's wife is okusan. 夫 and 妻 also combine as 夫妻, fusai, Mr and Mrs, on formal invitations, and 夫婦, fūfu, a married couple, in everyday speech. Younger speakers increasingly use pātonā or simply the person's name, but the kanji forms remain standard on documents.
| Japanese | Romaji | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 夫は今日、出張です。 | Otto wa kyō, shutchō desu. | My husband is on a business trip today. |
| ご主人はどちらにお勤めですか。 | Goshujin wa dochira ni o-tsutome desu ka. | Where does your husband work? |
| 妻と二人で住んでいます。 | Tsuma to futari de sunde imasu. | I live with my wife, just the two of us. |
| 奥さんによろしくお伝えください。 | Okusan ni yoroshiku o-tsutae kudasai. | Please give my regards to your wife. |
| 女性用の入口はあちらです。 | Josei-yō no iriguchi wa achira desu. | The entrance for women is over there. |
Siblings: 兄 弟 姉 妹
Japanese does not have a single neutral word for brother or sister. It has four kanji that encode age: 兄 older brother, 弟 younger brother, 姉 older sister, 妹 younger sister. The older two get the honorific forms oniisan and onēsan when you speak of someone else's siblings or call to your own; the younger two do not take -san in the same way, so otōto and imōto are used for your own and otōto-san and imōto-san for other people's.
The compounds are worth learning as a set. 兄弟 kyōdai is siblings in general, and it is also the word you use when someone asks how many brothers and sisters you have. 姉妹 shimai is sisters, and it appears in shimai toshi, sister cities. 長男 chōnan and 長女 chōjo, eldest son and eldest daughter, turn up on family registers and in conversations about inheritance and who looks after the parents.
| Japanese | Romaji | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 兄が一人と妹が一人います。 | Ani ga hitori to imōto ga hitori imasu. | I have one older brother and one younger sister. |
| お兄さんは何をしていますか。 | Oniisan wa nani o shite imasu ka. | What does your older brother do? |
| 姉は東京で働いています。 | Ane wa Tōkyō de hataraite imasu. | My older sister works in Tokyo. |
| 弟はまだ学生です。 | Otōto wa mada gakusei desu. | My younger brother is still a student. |
| 兄弟はいますか。 | Kyōdai wa imasu ka. | Do you have any siblings? |
| Kanji | Reading | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 兄 | kei, kyō, ani | older brother; ani (own), oniisan (others) |
| 弟 | dai, tei, otōto | younger brother; otōto, kyōdai (siblings) |
| 姉 | shi, ane | older sister; ane (own), onēsan (others) |
| 妹 | mai, imōto | younger sister; imōto, shimai (sisters) |
| 家 | ka, ke, ie, ya | house, home; ie, kazoku (family), Tanaka-ke |
| 族 | zoku | tribe, group; kazoku, minzoku (ethnic group) |
| 友 | yū, tomo | friend; tomodachi, yūjin (friend, formal) |
| 人 | jin, nin, hito | person; hito, Nihonjin, sannin (three people) |
Family, relatives, friends and people: 家 族 友 人
家 is one of the busiest kanji in the language. It is ie, a house, often read uchi in speech for my place or my family, ka in 家族 kazoku and 家庭 katei, household, and ke when attached to a surname to mean the family: Tanaka-ke, the Tanakas. It is also ka in the sense of a specialist: 作家 sakka, a writer, 専門家 senmonka, an expert.
族 rarely stands alone. It means a tribe or group of people who belong together: 家族 family, 民族 minzoku, ethnic group, and playfully 暴走族 bōsōzoku, motorbike gangs. 友 is friend, tomo, and the everyday word is 友達 tomodachi; the formal word 友人 yūjin appears in written Japanese and speeches. 人 is the character you will read more than any other: hito on its own, jin after a country or place, nin as a counter, and a range of readings inside compounds.
| Japanese | Romaji | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 家族は四人です。 | Kazoku wa yonin desu. | There are four people in my family. |
| 週末は家でゆっくりします。 | Shūmatsu wa ie de yukkuri shimasu. | At the weekend I relax at home. |
| 親戚が名古屋にいます。 | Shinseki ga Nagoya ni imasu. | I have relatives in Nagoya. |
| 友達と映画を見に行きました。 | Tomodachi to eiga o mi ni ikimashita. | I went to see a film with a friend. |
| あの人は誰ですか。 | Ano hito wa dare desu ka. | Who is that person? |
| 日本人の友人がいます。 | Nihonjin no yūjin ga imasu. | I have a Japanese friend. |
Where you meet these kanji
Family kanji are everywhere on forms and signs, often in compounds you would not guess from the individual meanings. Knowing these saves real time at a city office or a school.
- Toilet and changing-room doors: 男 and 女, sometimes 男性 and 女性, or 男子 and 女子 in schools
- Forms and registers: 父 and 母 in the parents' section, 配偶者 for spouse, 続柄 for relationship to the head of household
- Nameplates and letters: 田中家 on a door means the Tanaka family; 様 follows the name on an envelope
- School and childcare: 保護者 for parent or guardian, 子供 or 子ども for children, 親子 for parent and child
- Shops and adverts: 家族割 family discount, 親子丼 chicken and egg rice bowl, 友達紹介 refer a friend
- Emergency and safety: 人 in 一人 and 二人 on lifts and signs giving capacity, 大人 adult and 子供 child on ticket machines
Ticket machines are a good test: 大人 otona and 子供 kodomo appear on almost every one, and the reading of 大人 is irregular, so it is worth memorising as a whole word.
Look-alike kanji and reading traps
Family kanji are simple in shape, which makes some of them dangerously similar. These are the pairs where a single stroke or a swapped side changes the meaning.
| Japanese | Romaji | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 父と交は違う漢字です。 | Chichi to kō wa chigau kanji desu. | Father and exchange are different kanji. |
| 母と毎の下の部分を見てください。 | Haha to mai no shita no bubun o mite kudasai. | Look at the bottom part of mother and every. |
| 夫と天は横棒の長さが違います。 | Otto to ten wa yokobō no nagasa ga chigaimasu. | Husband and heaven differ in the length of the horizontal bars. |
- 父 father and 交 exchange: 交 has an extra lid on top, as in 交番, police box
- 母 mother and 毎 every: 毎 puts a person on top of the mother shape, as in 毎日, every day
- 夫 husband and 天 heaven: in 夫 the vertical stroke pokes above the top bar; in 天 it does not
- 妻 wife and 事 thing: both have a hand holding something; 妻 has the woman radical at the bottom
- 弟 younger brother and 第 ordinal number: 第 has the bamboo crown, as in 第一, number one
- 子 child and 了 finished: 了 lacks the horizontal bar, and it appears in 終了, ended
- 友 friend and 反 anti: the strokes cross in 友; 反 has a straight cliff on the left
The reading trap is chichi versus otōsan and its relatives. A quick rule: humble form to outsiders about your own family, polite form for everyone else's family and for calling out at home.
A three-week study plan
Sixteen kanji is a small set, so the aim here is not just recognition but reflex: hearing okāsan and knowing it is 母, seeing 姉 and saying ane without pausing. Plan for ten to fifteen minutes a day.
- Week 1: parents and children. Write 父 母 子 親 男 女 ten times each, then draw your own family tree in kanji and label each person with both readings
- Week 2: siblings and spouses. Learn 兄 弟 姉 妹 夫 妻 as pairs, then write six sentences about your real or an imaginary family using the humble forms
- Week 3: family, friends and people. Learn 家 族 友 人 with three compounds each, and photograph three signs in daily life that use them
- Every day: five minutes in Unihongo's free learning games on this set, then one spoken self-introduction covering your family
By the end of the third week, describe a friend's family out loud using polite forms, then your own using humble forms. If you can switch without stopping to think, the set is yours.