Japanese To Particle Uses: And, With, Quotes and Mutual Verbs

The core idea: to is a handshake between two nouns

Put to between two nouns and they become a pair: pan to tamago, bread and eggs. You can extend the chain, pan to tamago to gyūnyū, and whatever particle follows the last noun applies to the whole group. A handshake is closed, and so is the list. When you say pan to tamago o kaimashita, the listener understands that you have named everything worth naming.

A handshake also needs two things of the same kind, and that explains the main restriction before you meet it. To joins nouns only. Actions and qualities are chained with the te form instead: yasukute oishii, cheap and tasty. In the scene below, someone has come back from the convenience store and is telling a flatmate, in polite speech because they have just moved in together, what is now in the kitchen.

With: doing something together

After a person, to means with. Tomodachi to eiga o mimashita, I saw a film with a friend. The handshake is now between you and your companion: you did the action as partners. Issho ni, together, can follow to for warmth or clarity, but to alone is enough. The question form is dare to, with whom, and the answer for nobody is hitori de, alone.

This to is for companions only. English with also covers tools, as in eat with chopsticks, and Japanese gives that job to de. It is Monday morning at the office, and colleagues are asking each other about the weekend.

How it is built: what to attaches to

To follows a noun directly, with nothing in between. When it follows a quotation, the quoted part is in the plain form, and a noun or na-adjective at the end of the quote needs da.

The first three rows are enough for daily conversation. The rest belong to the second half of this article.

Mutual verbs: actions that need a partner

Some actions cannot happen with one person. You cannot marry, quarrel or part on your own. Japanese marks the second party of these verbs with to: kekkon suru, marry, au, meet, kenka suru, quarrel, wakareru, part from, hanasu, talk. Kare to kekkon shimashita is literally I did marriage with him.

The same logic covers comparison. Chigau, to differ, onaji, the same, and niru, to resemble, all need something to be compared with. English changes its preposition each time, different from, the same as, married to; Japanese keeps to, because in each case two things stand opposite one another. A customer in a restaurant might use the fourth sentence below when the wrong dish arrives.

Minimal pairs: to beside its neighbours ni and ya

To is most often confused with ni after a person and with ya in a list. In each pair below only the particle changes.

Ni is an arrow pointing at the person; to is the handshake. Choose ni when the action flows one way, such as reporting to a manager, and to when both people take part equally. With a verb like kekkon suru there is no one-way version, so only to is possible. In lists, choose to when completeness matters, for example when confirming an order, and ya or toka when you are giving examples. Separate posts cover ni and to with verbs and the listing particles in depth.

Beyond the basics: to for quoted words and thoughts

To also marks a quotation. The words come first, then to, then a verb such as iu, say, omou, think, kaku, write, or kiku, hear. Oishii to omoimasu is literally I think: tasty. Here the handshake image is looser, and it is fair to say so: nothing mutual is happening. What remains of the core idea is that to sets the quoted words beside the verb as its partner, the content that the saying or thinking goes with.

The quote is in the plain form even when the sentence as a whole is polite, because politeness is shown once, at the end. A noun or na-adjective needs da before to: ame da to omoimasu. The reason is that to must follow a complete sentence, and ame alone is not one. The same to gives the humble way to state your name. In the scene, a receptionist is passing on a phone message.

Sounds, results and conditions: to with adverbs, naru and verbs

Japanese is rich in words that imitate a sound or a manner, and to attaches them to a verb. Doa ga batan to shimarimashita is literally the door shut, going bang. This is quotation again: you are quoting the noise. After short sound words such as batan and don, to is required. After doubled words such as zāzā and nikoniko, and after adverbs like yukkuri and hakkiri, it is optional: leaving it out is the everyday choice, and keeping it sounds a little more careful or vivid.

To naru is a formal alternative to ni naru, to become. You will meet it in announcements and news rather than in conversation, and it presents the result as final. After a dictionary-form verb, to is a conditional: haru ni naru to, sakura ga sakimasu, when spring comes, the cherry trees bloom. The second event follows the first every time, a fixed pair, which is a last trace of the handshake. The post on conditionals compares it with tara, ba and nara.

Spoken reality: tte, toka and what stays

The to of and and with is almost never dropped, because without it the listener cannot tell that two nouns belong together. Quoting to is different. In casual speech it becomes tte, and tte can end a sentence on its own to report what someone said. In relaxed conversation lists made with to often give way to toka, which sounds less exact and therefore softer. To itself carries no politeness level; it appears unchanged in a chat with friends and in a business email.

Common mistakes with to and why they happen

Kono mise wa yasui to oishii desu is wrong. English and joins anything, so learners use to the same way. To joins nouns only; adjectives take the te form: yasukute oishii desu. For the same reason, tabemashita to nemashita is wrong, and the correct version is tabete nemashita.

Hashi to tabemasu is wrong for I eat with chopsticks. English uses with for both companions and tools, but to is only for a partner, and it would make the chopsticks your dinner companion. Tools take de: hashi de tabemasu.

Kare ni kekkon shimashita is wrong. English says married to him, and ni often translates to, so the slip is natural. Marriage is mutual, so say kare to kekkon shimashita.

Kirei to omoimasu is wrong in careful speech. Learners remember that i-adjectives go straight before to, as in takai to omoimasu, and extend the pattern. Kirei is a na-adjective and needs da: kirei da to omoimasu. In very casual talk some speakers do drop this da, but keep it until your ear tells you when.